The Cooler

I've met the Cooler and his name is Steve Johnson. Okay, maybe I should back up a little...

I had another interview in Baltimore on Friday morning, and I figured that since we were already pointing in that direction, we should keep going up I-95, take a right turn at the Atlantic City Expressway, and see where it takes us... So a bunch of guys came up with me. It was more than a posse. It was an entourage (which, incidentally, if you've never seen on HBO, you're missing out). After the interview, I took the elevator down to the ground floor, jumped back into Ken's Yukon, and headed straight for the Borgata. Missing the exit to the Borgata should've been our first clue that bad luck was a'coming.

I was up a couple hundred before stopping off at my room about 11:00ish. Steve was already there complaining about his losses, and the other boys were no better off. He was talking about putting the rest of his money on the roulette table. Red. Definitely red. I felt bad, so I told him I'd double his bet, whatever he chose. That was the worst mistake I've ever made. Not only did I lose my $50 at the roulette table when the number came up black, I lost another $200+ on the craps table with Steve behind me. Yep. A bona fide cooler.



For those of you who don't know what a "cooler" is, you should see this movie. Essentially, a cooler is a person whose job it is to go around the casino and "cool off" tables. He is bad luck incarnate. And if you look hard enough, you can almost always pick him out. He's the guy with slouched shoulders, not playing but casually and quietly watching. A little too quiet. He won't make eye contact. And that noise? That's him sucking the mojo off the table.

The next morning, I went back to the craps table, but told Steve to stand 5 feet back from the table. So he sat by the slots, while I started winning. Lots. Now I'm not a superstitious guy, and I don't believe in luck. But it was amazing to watch...it got so good that I told him not to even look at my table.

Fifteen minutes later and up a few hundred or so, I decided to call it quits. He walked up as I was coloring in, and I kid you not, I spilled my coke. Yah, it was time to go. In the end, I guess it could have been worse. I actually pushed Steve up to the $100 craps table, and the guy rolling lost $5,000. I'm telling you, Steve could have been on the Borgata payroll.

Awesome time though, and I made it back in time for my engagement party (with an hour to spare). The party was awesome, thanks to the Seetins, who were great hosts. My guess is that it'll probably better than our wedding reception. Tons of great food with friends. It was a bit surreal. And Sunday was a lazy day watching the Tour de France and the British Open. It doesn't get better than that... Really.