Thursday, August 11, 2005

100 Days

So I just looked at the calendar, and I found out that I have 100 days left. 100 days until my wedding. I can't believe it's coming up so fast. I'm having trouble catching my breath.

I'd be lying if I said this has been an easy process. On the contrary, it's been a grind making all of these ridiculous decisions. I'm learning more about a person in a few months than I have in the past 6 years. More than anything, though, I suppose I'm learning a lot about myself. About how fiercely independent I am. How selfish I can be. And how I deal with conflict.

Truth be told, sometimes, it's hard not to feel like you're Indiana Jones being chased by that huge boulder after stealing that golden idol. After all, I have been single for 33 years. A partner at my law firm half-joked that the whole wedding planning process is a way for the guy to understand and prepare for the crushing truth that he will eventually lose all autonomy. Then again, he's on his second marriage, so I'm not really looking to him for advice...

Maybe it's this wedding planning. It's unrelenting. Every day, there are more decisions to make. 3-tiered cake or 4-tiered cake. Buttercream or Almond. Or lemon. Tenderloin or beef tips. Stand up or sit down. Flowers. Photography. Order of service. Sparklers or bubbles. I'm literally going crazy. And for a guy who has a hard time making decisions and spending money, it's a recipe for disaster.

At least this week off has been nice. Played golf yesterday and today, trying to enjoy my last moments of vacation before I start a new job. And I'm getting my money's worth out of Netflix. So I got that going for me...

100 days to go and counting. Yikes.

Tuesday, August 09, 2005

Why I Am Leaving the Law (In 500 Words or Less)

I love the law. I love corporate transactions. The excitement of mergers and acquisitions. IPOs. Venture capital. All of it. But here's the thing: I hate the law business. And when it all comes down to it, it's not worth all of the angst and pressure to do something that will consume my days, nights and weekends for the next 30 years. And that's if I'm really good at it. I've had friends brag about how they gave birth, and within a week, they were back doing deals. Or how a heart attack didn't stop them from closing a $2 billion deal. That's great for them, I guess. But quite frankly, that's not the kind of stuff I want to brag about.

I spoke recently with the head of the corporate group of a large, multi-national law firm, and he told me that he was so happy that his son decided not to follow in his footsteps and go to law school. This from a man who is undoubtedly making close to a million dollars, and is seen by many as being at the top of his game. That should tell you something about the state of the law today. In fact, it's not a stretch to say that I don't know one happy lawyer.

If I could write out the exact reasons I wanted to leave, this would be the mother of all entries. There are so many reasons. So many stories that you wouldn't believe about working beyond all limitations and getting nothing for it. Stories that would make child sweatshops sound like daycare centers. That would make prison feel like a 4-star hotel.

But instead of boring you with all sorts of details and pro/con lists, I should simply say this: there are times in our lives where we must make decisions grounded in faith. And sometimes faith takes the form of the road directly in front of us. Yes, I'm going to miss it. And who's to say I won't be jumping back in in a couple of years? But for the foreseeable future, I believe that this is where I should go. My life has been hard enough, without the 100-hour weeks.

I'm jumping into the vast, undefined world of consulting on August 15. Good salary. Decent hours. And you get to wear jeans. In all seriousness, part of my job description is to "identify and solve problems". Really. Basically, sitting around a table with really smart people and figure out things. They call it work. I call it dinner conversation.

So I'm taking this week off, working through a million wedding details and buying lots of crap. I just bought the world's most expensive coat rack. And the Heavenly Bed is coming on Saturday. Ahhhh, the Heavenly Bed. Who says I can't enjoy my life a bit more?

Come to think of it, that's what I need. A big, fat nap.